Dos Amigos

This is my 2^nd blog and it is on dating and boys. Please don’t read unless you really, really want to J

Superbowl Sunday morning. I have some time to kill before I try and go back to sleep for another hour or so. Right now the house is being filled with some people attending one of the workshops that Mike hosts here. Only about 10 people and I know them so this isn’t too uncomfortable. The big events are the ones I am usually up and out of the house for, or I help with. They quiet down after a while but right now I am awake watching the sun through the blinds of my window. There are sheer curtains, something I would never by myself but are pretty. I love my blue fingernails. I love my friend Nich. And I absolutely and thrilled about this guy I met. This is another one. Let’s name them. OK so you know Wes, who I was with for forever and again over the 2010 holidays. I held such a flame for that guy for so long through so much. I can’t say that I still don’t. But I am really starting to feel good, actually good, about being “single.” It’s more than just a word of freedom to me now. Now, I can actually find guys, that are interested in me, funny, attentive and here is the best part: able to express their thoughts, ideas, and feelings! Holy shit, I had forgotten that guys could actually be called upon to do that! I mean, not even be called upon, but just do it on their own. I’m like overwhelmed by it a little because I don’t know how to even respond. But I digress. Names, remember?

So, Dan is who I met through mutual friends. David I met through the internet (yeah, I know!) and that is all that I can fit on my plate!

Last night I sat in Sky Bar waiting for Nich and talking to an older couple seated next to me about Google Earth (playing on the screen in the background. I love Sky Bar!)  I am fortunate that one vodka sprite gets me going and there is smoething liberating at coming to the point in my life that I can sit in a bar alone. Though I wouldn’t want to do it for hours. Anyway, Nich shows up and I haven’t seen him since before Christmas and all kinds of stuff had gone down. His boyfriends brother had gotten shot in the back of the head down closer to the border. The story is insane and will be another thing that goes completely unreported in the national news. After we got the drama out we were joking about all the ways we could potentially mess with this guy David, who was coming to meet me for the first time, in case he was a creeper. So David texts, and I told him to find me and I gave him no clues. Sometimes I can be mean but to be fair he has seen a photo of me. So he finds me and right off the bat I’m thinking this guy seems like he has his stuff together. The confidence, the way he moved through the room, his smile or small talk with strangers and the way he ordered by drink and brought it to me. He did not seem “put on” at all. It was definitely one of those things where, in real life, I wouldn’t probably look at him and say that guy is attractive but once I knew some things about him…he was becoming moreso. I kept looking at his hands. So strong. The way he spoke. Direct, well timed, not nervous. Not boasting but self assured.

I don’t know. The point is I’m not looking for a boyfriend and he isn’t looking for a girlfriend. And he is hot, and I am cute and let’s see what happens. It’s Dating. Dating! Such a concept, right?! After a while I wanted him to skidaddle and he said he would walk us to our next place. Nich and I hop around 4^th Ave…we were going to the other end. He walked me and I put my arm through his arm. Then after a bit I grabbed his hand that was right there. Then, best part, he put his loose hand over my hand, completely enclosing it and keeping it warm.

Maybe it was the drinks (probably, lol) and Nich being there but it really helped my nervousness. And the fact that David didn’t seem nervous, whew…so nice. He took off and Nich and I danced the night away, as usual. For once I didn’t mind the gay bar as much even though it’s more like a dance orgy. Touching strangers and rubbing against them isn’t just a necessity since it’s so crowded…it almost just becomes the thing to do. I love grabbing guys butts and then they look around at the boys trying to guess who it was. I love dirty dancing with Nich. And wow, there was again, some entertaining people there. Some trannies, one of which I thought looked like an actual godess. One guy had a tie and was dancing with it and light sticks as accessories. That guy knew what he was doing…maybe it was whatever he was on?...Chemically induced good dancing? A gay cowboy came up to me trying to hit on Nich through me. Funny stuff.

There is more, I’m just throwing out random details. Anyway David wants to see me again, and soon. And I know I am going to freak out seeing him because of me liking him and being highly, highly attracted to him. It’s so much easier in your head, to just, let someone take you in that way. But in real life, it’s like…I don’t know. The last guy I was attracted to like this right off the bat was Dustin and we did some crazy stuff in crazy places and I was able to because I got deeply inebriated. And that’s all I will say on that. But with David, now that we are older, have been with other people, etc…I’m almost more nervous. I know I need to jump back on that saddle, so to speak. I just know that once I do, there is no going back. And what if I like it? Then what happens with Wes and I? I truly love him. I would’ve done anything for him. But I can’t help someone who won’t help themselves and I have to just realize, he is on his own journey and I can’t be there for him even if I want to and even if I would.

I got to study, make flash cards, take more people’s blood pressure for homework, and go to the Superbowl party at Richards house. I just met him through Christina. Richard works at the BLM and seems very lively. His wife and he have invited some people over to yell at the TV.

The other night, Friday, I got super drunk and g-chatted with that guy David all night. SO, all in all been a good weekend but I normally don’t drink this much in an entire month! I’m going to have to get Acupunture this week and have her focus on my liver and spleen.