Nothing ventured, Nothing gained

I have had an absolutely crazy week. And today itself was CRAZY!

So, let me tell you. This whole David thing blew up, I mean exploded in my face, in a matter of just a few days. He is a very troubled man with a case of alcoholism and PTSD. I've never experienced anything like that in my life. I tried to sort of deal with it, maybe change what kind of relationship we could have. But he was having no part of it. I would tell him goodnite and I would awake 8 hours later with 20+ texts waiting to be read on my phone or in my gmail. It was like he couldn't rest, couldn't be away from me. And it was totally bazaar because we really did not know each other. I tried to apologize to him for whatever I had done to lead him into thinking we were that serious but he just got angrier. I won't go into the stalker thing because it still hasn't completely sunk it but I was left with no other option than file a police report on him which I did today. Part of me feel terrible for him, he really needs help. To a normal person this shouldn't be a big deal (being turned down) but to him it was all encompassing. Nothing else existed and his mind is clearly unwell. I feel so bad, but I also feel relieved to not be carrying that burden anymore.

ANYway, also today I got a call from Dan to come over. Thank goodness, I was waiting on him to call me. I invited him to something the other night but got turned down, boo, so it was his turn. Anyway, I just spent the past 6 hours with him. A thought popped into my head while getting ready for bed a few minutes ago. The best dates are the ones you didn't realize were dates until they are already done.
I think that might have been a date. But it was perfect, if in fact it was. It was the prefect, I am not pressuring you, I am just getting to know, and may actually like you, but either way I am going to treat you like a lady, date. *whew* but really this is one to remember. It was so, exactly what I needed, especially after CrazyDavid.

So, I was at Wal Mart when Dan texted me. I was starving but I rushed to get over there to catch the movie on time. I packed a granola bar in case I couldn't make it and started trying to eat my hand or something. I would have normally thought about what I was wearing but I was in a hurry so I just went as was which was a summer dress that I have owned for years but have never looked so good in as I do now (if I do say so myself, lol) but anyway I had that on, it's short and the front is a V cut and tight around the boobies. I was "out there" and I had my boots on. Anyway, we rushed to this hippie enclave where mattresses are strewn about, a sheet is hanging from the ceiling to show movies on, and the walls are covered in art clearly down under the influence. I shouldn't talk about what the film was about here but it was interesting. Anyway, it was over and I was like  "I will eat this fucking carpet if we don't go get something for dinner right this second" So, we go over and he decisively tells me it's pizza, he is dropping me off to go in while he goes and parks. This ain't your average shitty pizza place, this was like gourmet, pizza making sweet love to your mouth, kinda pizza place. Anyway, after my mouth and stomach was sufficiently satisfied we walked around downtown. He had plenty to talk about and I love it when a man will do the talking. He took me by a building that he has dreams of owning and told me what he wanted to do with it. We went by another hippie enclave that is a yoga studio/barber shop. He is going to host a workshop there and wanted to officially approve of the place. So, then we went to a bookstore because he was convinced (in a purely sweet, funny, and nonjudgmental way) that I needed some education on food and what I chose to put in my body (haha). So, he did open the car door for me and close it after I sat. Neither of us made mention of it and I was thinking maybe it was just because he was closer to that side of the car as we walked up. I don't know. But no one has ever done it in such a natural, honoring way before. So, we are hanging out in the bookstore. Never really done that with anyone before but somehow it worked. He was on his aisle and me on mine. His was Spiritual Wellness. Mine was New Age and Cultural Trends. At one point he came and sat right next to me on the floor, we switched books, I looked through his and he through mine which was funny because I was reading "Sex Signs: Every Woman's Astrological and Psychological Guide to Love, Men, Sex, Anger, and Personal Power" which I THOROUGHLY RECOMMEND. So he is all nonchalantly reading about my sign. And I begin reading "The Male Brain" which is also very good. I especially like the section about little boys obsessions with their penises. Anyway, we go one for a while and then we get kicked out because it was closing, lame. We go back to his place and he begins to cook himself dinner but I am not hungry, plus I want to read this book so I am chilling, reading one of his books. I was deep into the chapter about Motherhood which really fucking freaks me out. I mean really fucking freaks me out. (for emphasis) FUCKING FREAKS ME....ok you get the message. So, Dan comes up and is like you're cold. I tell him I am fine. He says "You're in a dress." I was like "I have boots on." He throws a fleece over me and walks back to the kitchen saying only "it's like we are in high school." SO, after a bit I wander into the kitchen begging him to tell me a story because my mind has got to get out of the Motherhood section. He tells me this amazing story about meeting Bono at this concert shortly after he left the Navy. Basically, he was crowd surfing, yeah, and a bouncer pulled him down and was grabbing him. He was like right next to the stage. Bono see's pulls him onto the stage and says "What do you want?" and Dan says "to have a good time." So, Bono instructs him that they are going to pray together, which they did for a full minute, at least. And then they stand up, hug, and Dan gave him his Navy Academy ring and said "give this to Edge!" and Bono nods. The inside of the ring is engraved: Nothing ventured, Nothing gained

Anyway, the night winds down, especially when it came that awkward getting to know you time where the person discovers my past. I really abstain from telling people my Mom is dead. I almost never do actually, even if they say something presuming she is alive. I don't correct them because then they want to know about it. Which would be fine except for then people treat me differently, not always, but it's happened a few times and been very unpleasant for me. But I figured, he can know, and I was very brief but he was inquisitive. It isn't in my nature to say something like "I'd rather not talk about it." Because I appreciate peoples honesty expressed in the form of concern so I did mention a few highlights which made me sad. Not sad like I used to me, not upset, not visibly disturbed, just melancholy and quiet with glazed over eyes and a lack of movement. It's a bazaar occurrence that I am completely unaware of until it's far too late. That part of the night I regret but whatever, it was fine. He told me some stuff about Yoga and I called it a night. He was so sweet, just gave me a nice smile but did not try and make it weird, or do a goodbye. It was just "see ya next time." and that smile.

*sigh*

I am trying really hard not to let myself like this guy too much. But I like him right now. And when I wake up tomorrow and it's Valentine's Day, I am pretty sure I will be cured and think of only my Grandpa as my Valentine. He, by the way, agreed that he could handle the responsibility of having 2 Valentines this year: me and my Gma.