High/Low lights

This week has been madness, chaos, miscommunication, and nauseating!

I am not even going to go into the bad parts, so I highlight the good. Today while doing my weekly volunteer with the BLM I ran into an old semi-buddy, one of the Rangers who I used to have a raging crush on. I actually asked him out when I first got back to Tucson and he declined. And by declined I mean, was unresponsive. So whatever. I am so over it. You turn ME down? Estupido! What is it, as soon as I am no longer interested now he might be? Either that or he feigns it for his own entertainment. Crazy mofo. Whatever, I am glad I got to run into him, if for nothing else he gets to see what he'll be missing out on.

Also, I went to my first Sweedish massage class which was very very interesting. It's good though, I mean, I've never spent that much time kneading a strangers gluteus before but I'm down for the education. After all, he then had to give my gluteus some attention. In my FIRM opinion, pun intended, everyone's gluteus could use some more attention!

I haven't studied AT ALL and I have a big test on Tuesday. To be fair, I have had my textbook lying open on the bed for days, only just a few inches from my head. So if it's possible that osmosis exists I might actually know at least something, prolly not tho.

The Dan issue was driving me into being a pathetic, sad woman again and I had to bust that shit up because I no longer accept that form of weakness in myself. I called and confronted him, learning that when he called me it was to invite me along but somehow I didn't give him the chance to and he felt awkward. Lame excuse but alright sure. I don't even care, I'm over it. I told him my thoughts and he seemed receptive enough, albeit super weird. Why do I go for such weirdo's?! Anyway, apparently then I fucked up. He asked me over and I told him I couldn't come. There was no good reason, I just wanted about to bounce on his beacon call like that. He texted me to come over, that he needs me to. And I ignored the text completely. Whatever, I already said I couldn't that night so why repeat myself?

Anyway, I just got off the phone with him, a day later, and it was totally bazaar. He actually started out the conversation calling me an asshole. No joke. I'm an asshole apparently for having ignored his text. Whoa. He gets to blow me off on Sunday, not contact me since then, practically ignore my texts, and I'M the ass? Yeah, I told him basically 1. I'm sorry, I don't know you that well and I didn't realize how important it was to you. 2. You aren't exactly sending me positive messages about liking me when you call me an asshole 3. (most important point) you don't want to start an argument with me because you do not know who and what you will be getting into.

Sometimes, things with Dan can be so intense I feel like we're already in a relationship. This is absolutely not cool. I'm looking for fun, meaningful fun, light hearted, happy times. Fool need to check himself 'for he wreck hisself. I'ma have to lay it down on him before this goes any further which, at this point, I will not allow. We need to reach some sort of mutual understanding. He better not be expecting no Kool Aid cause that just got went out the window for a while soon as he thought he could come to me so soon with calling me an asshole. I don't think he was in full possession of his brain at that moment.

Anyway, I wanted to go to Sky Bar with Janka tomorrow and then maybe hookah or dancing but Dan wants to go to Phoenix for a massage class. It might be fun. I don't know exactly. I'd rather not go but I'm open to it since it seems like a big deal to him. We'll see.

The point is, nothing goes ideally in this world. Nothing. So you take the good where you can find it and don't expect too much. Seth delighted me by giving me a drunk dial the other night in which he recounted his entire day and his night at the bar where he had fallen in love with his bartender. I understood about 1 out of every 5 words he said.

And I went rollerblading today which is always good. By far and wide the best fuckin news of the week is I got some glow poi! I am so elated over this development! I gots my glow poi! I gots my glow poi!